Sunday, April 15, 2007

10 months, 1 week and 2 days...

Dear Nathan and Thomas,

Today isn't particularly special. It isn't the anniversary of your births or even close to your birthday, in fact you're 10months, 1 week and 2 days old so we're right in the middle of the marked dates. Even so, today has been yet another one of those days where I have to pinch myself to make sure that I am awake and not dreaming.

I really wanted to become a parent. When I met your daddy I knew that my fate was sealed. Oh there were a few fireworks sure but mostly it just felt right, as if we were a perfect fit for one another. Marriage and starting a family became the natural progression for us and we were so excited about it when we saw the little lines that proved you were on your way. By now though, you'll have figured out that we had a bit of a rough time through the pregnancy - I hope you don't ever think that I blamed you for my experience because I don't and I wouldn't go back and change it if I could because then I wouldn't have you.

It took me a while to find my feet but now I think I'm on the right path because everyday you both grow bigger and stronger and so I must be doing something right. Recently you have both become quite clingy and you don't like it when your dad or I leave the room even if your aunty or grandparents are around. It breaks my heart that either of you ever have to feel any fear about us leaving you, we never could and we never will. Even so, a part of me rejoices when you cry a little and then stop as soon as we return because it makes me feel like we're not doing to badly.

I wanted to do a monthly recap of all your milestones but I just didn't seem to find the time. I hope that my memories don't fade too much although I suspect there are many little things that my mind has allowed to slip away. Please know that every day since you two arrived has brought some experience that I never could have comprehended before you came along and even if I don't remember every detail, I still love you desperately and always will.

Your personalities have continued to develop so much over the past few months but you have both retained the same characteristics that you displayed all those months ago when you were in the hospital. It is fascinating watching you interact with one another and we are truly lucky to be spectators as you have already created a secret bond and I have no doubt that it will only get stronger.

Thomas, you're my first born and so you will sometimes feel the weight of responsibility for you brother. Wear it proudly because there will be times when he will need you to be strong for him. You are so like me that even strangers comment out loud. Like me, you are a little bit clumsy and you get frustrated easily. That's OK - it may mean that you spill a few glasses of juice and break a few things but it also means that you're passionate and capable and that this will make people love and rely on you. I suspect that you will be led into mischief by your baby brother and that people will assume your guilt before his just because you're bigger and a bit louder. Don't worry about it too much because it will build your character (and besides we'll always know to check the details first). This month has shown your impatience because you're not content with crawling, instead you're already practicing standing on your own and I swear you're about to break into a run. Slow down just a little bit though my little man, I never said that you could grow up that fast!

Nathan sweetheart, you were so tiny when you were born and so I felt that you needed more protection but you're far tougher than you seem. Right from the start you were quietly strong, you fought to catch up to your brother and he did all he could to help you (remember that when you're bigger and he makes you mad). The nurses worried about your body temperature all the time but as soon as you started sleeping next to Tommy, he began to help you to regulate it so that you could come home. You are a child prone to bouts of deep contemplation and you spend ages figuring out everything. Your daddy is like that so it seems that you're be taking after him in most ways. You have a million different laughs and you use them all the time to make us giggle. You love it when you get a reaction and you'll ham it up until someone interferes or you hurt yourself. You are also so neat and tidy and we're not sure who you get that from because your dad and I aren't very particular about clutter. When we feed the two of you Tommy always covers himself and his surroundings but you hardly mess a drop. We all find this very funny but I hope that sometimes you'll let yourself mess because that's what being a kid is about and besides we really don't mind :-). You are also the mischevious one but you have a smile that looks so innocent. Try not to use this ability on people too often, rather let them see how sweet you are and how much you love to cuddle.

My boys, you make me very proud and I get prouder all the time. Thank-you for 'choosing[1]' us as your parents, we hope to do you proud too.


[1] One of my dads theories when I was growing up was that children choose their parents at conception and sometimes I like to believe that it could be true.


Eva said...

Lovely letter, and beautiful boys.

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

What Eva said.

edvard moonke said...

hello amy, keep doing what you're doing, because it's obviously working. well done you guys.

not sure I subscribe to the view we choose our parents though...