Monday, September 24, 2007

September Round Robin - My question to all moms..

I'm sorry the question is so late this month, things are a little dishelved in my world and I'm trying to make some sense of it all. As part of this I'd like to ask how some of you have coped with the change that parenthood has had on your identity?

Please don't get my wrong - I'm not depressed or down as such but I am struggling to retain any of my old self in this new world and it is very disconcerting (and I find myself wondering whether I should even try?).

There is something to be said for the me that is the wife and the mother because I am a far nicer person since meeting my husband and I like to think a great deal more loving and patient since becoming a parent. Both of these things convince me that the choices which I have made have been the right ones and I'm glad that is the case because I dearly love my life as it is.

I'm sure though you can sense that there is a bt in here? It is only a small but and usually it is nonexistent or so insignificant that I don't even notice it is there but whenever there is big change afoot or something comes along to upset the routine I find myself wondering how my 'old self' would've handled it.

I am sure that most of us go through this process and that for some people it is easier than it is for others and maybe it is just about completing the transformation. As a family we have been through so much over the last 2 years that I don't think my hubby or I have had a moment to sit back and reflect on how much we have achieved. Instead we're mostly focussing on the day to day stuff or dealing with issues as they crop up. As the RO so rightly pointed out, we don't get any time to enjoy each others company like we used to and although I don't think this is adversely affecting us, I do think that it means we have to be super aware of the things we say or do around one another because we're not putting ourselves first in everything as we used to.

Ugh, sounds so dreary doesn't it? And it shouldn't! I am lucky enough to be popping to London for the night tomorrow, I have a meeting with a client on Wednesday and some friends are in London this week so we're meeting up. I'm looking forward to seeing them and catching up but I am no longer completely comfortable in their company because so many things have changed and I no longer desire the same things they do. On the other hand, the minute I leave home I will start missing everyone and I know that each moment will be spent looking forward to coming back home :-)

Let me know your thoughts if you can, link back or leave a comment because I am intrigued as to whether the rest of you have/do fell this way.



Stacie said...

Oh, well, just...shit. If that just isn't my whole blog these days. I'll try to put together a coherent entry on it, however, just for you. :)

kewd said...

I haven't gotten to the point where I can even thing about coping with the changes...I am still in survival mode!