I'm sorry the question is so late this month, things are a little dishelved in my world and I'm trying to make some sense of it all. As part of this I'd like to ask how some of you have coped with the change that parenthood has had on your identity?
Please don't get my wrong - I'm not depressed or down as such but I am struggling to retain any of my old self in this new world and it is very disconcerting (and I find myself wondering whether I should even try?).
There is something to be said for the me that is the wife and the mother because I am a far nicer person since meeting my husband and I like to think a great deal more loving and patient since becoming a parent. Both of these things convince me that the choices which I have made have been the right ones and I'm glad that is the case because I dearly love my life as it is.
I'm sure though you can sense that there is a bt in here? It is only a small but and usually it is nonexistent or so insignificant that I don't even notice it is there but whenever there is big change afoot or something comes along to upset the routine I find myself wondering how my 'old self' would've handled it.
I am sure that most of us go through this process and that for some people it is easier than it is for others and maybe it is just about completing the transformation. As a family we have been through so much over the last 2 years that I don't think my hubby or I have had a moment to sit back and reflect on how much we have achieved. Instead we're mostly focussing on the day to day stuff or dealing with issues as they crop up. As the RO so rightly pointed out, we don't get any time to enjoy each others company like we used to and although I don't think this is adversely affecting us, I do think that it means we have to be super aware of the things we say or do around one another because we're not putting ourselves first in everything as we used to.
Ugh, sounds so dreary doesn't it? And it shouldn't! I am lucky enough to be popping to London for the night tomorrow, I have a meeting with a client on Wednesday and some friends are in London this week so we're meeting up. I'm looking forward to seeing them and catching up but I am no longer completely comfortable in their company because so many things have changed and I no longer desire the same things they do. On the other hand, the minute I leave home I will start missing everyone and I know that each moment will be spent looking forward to coming back home :-)
Let me know your thoughts if you can, link back or leave a comment because I am intrigued as to whether the rest of you have/do fell this way.
xxx
A
Monday, September 24, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Fickle Francis
My hubby says I'm fickle. Despite myself I think that he may be right. Fortunately my ficklety (fickleness??) doesn't seem to extend to people or he'd probably have left me by now :-)
My biggest problem is phones. I am a phone person and always have been. Back when phones were analog and I was a young teenager I would lust after the press button lips and the talking bears. When I visited my more wealthy friends I'd buckle at the knees at the site of the see through, l.e.d lit cordless beauties which adorned their bedside tables.
Sadly the addiction has not improved with age either. Back home in South Africa I lived alone and owned 3 different types of home phone despite not having a telephone line into my house! So far our home phone has changed 3 times in 2 years and it is only that infrequent because Chris isn't as easily won over by pretty packaging additional features on something that we use with such irregularity.
The more up to date desires run to mobile phones and this is where my flaw most often lets me down. I LOVE new, shiny mobiles and am forever lusting after someone else's. I manage to convince myself that their phone is the best/nicest/shiniest and as a result I am continuously sulking because mine is sooo old fashioned!
I guess I should be grateful that I have managed to restrict the magpie tendencies to items that don't break the bank but it is unhealthy and one day I may have to find a support group - in the meantime though, I want an iPhone its yummy and it's practical too!
A
My biggest problem is phones. I am a phone person and always have been. Back when phones were analog and I was a young teenager I would lust after the press button lips and the talking bears. When I visited my more wealthy friends I'd buckle at the knees at the site of the see through, l.e.d lit cordless beauties which adorned their bedside tables.
Sadly the addiction has not improved with age either. Back home in South Africa I lived alone and owned 3 different types of home phone despite not having a telephone line into my house! So far our home phone has changed 3 times in 2 years and it is only that infrequent because Chris isn't as easily won over by pretty packaging additional features on something that we use with such irregularity.
The more up to date desires run to mobile phones and this is where my flaw most often lets me down. I LOVE new, shiny mobiles and am forever lusting after someone else's. I manage to convince myself that their phone is the best/nicest/shiniest and as a result I am continuously sulking because mine is sooo old fashioned!
I guess I should be grateful that I have managed to restrict the magpie tendencies to items that don't break the bank but it is unhealthy and one day I may have to find a support group - in the meantime though, I want an iPhone its yummy and it's practical too!
A
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
We're halfway there
Nate has returned to his normal self, producing smelly, sloppy poo's as appropriate to his diet and his age. Tommy on the other hand is now struggling in much the same way that his brother did last week which makes me wonder if this could be viral? I have never heard of a virus which causes constipation but I'm a bit suspicious about the cycle. We shall see but the next few days bring and hope that all will return to normal.
On another note, today was my half day and since it is the first Wednesday afternoon since my sister returned from South Africa, we decided to make a special occasion of it and went to the Blue Planet (a large aquarium near to us). I didn't really expect it to have much impact on the boys at this age but they were mesmerised. The tropical fish were an obvious treat as their tank was floor level so the boys could get right up to the glass and the fish didn't disappoint, they seem to be as interested in the kids looking at them. The big surprise was that both boys absolutely adored the terapins and it was very sweet to see their looks of delight as the little turtles 'frolicked' under the false sun.
By far the best part however was the ray pond. The blue planet offers an opportunity to 'stroke' the rays. You strum the top of the water and the rays come up to the surface and present themselves for a stroke. I'm not sure whether it was the opportunity to play with water or the appearance of weird creatures but they were overjoyed when we dangled them over the edge.
It is quite a pricey outing but we made the most of it and choosing a mid week afternoon meant that it was practically empty so we could get up close and take our time. It is a great idea for a rainy or wintry afternoon and we'll definitely do it again.
A
p.s thanks for all the kind words re: the boys, it helps to remember that it really is normal even if it is unpleasant.
On another note, today was my half day and since it is the first Wednesday afternoon since my sister returned from South Africa, we decided to make a special occasion of it and went to the Blue Planet (a large aquarium near to us). I didn't really expect it to have much impact on the boys at this age but they were mesmerised. The tropical fish were an obvious treat as their tank was floor level so the boys could get right up to the glass and the fish didn't disappoint, they seem to be as interested in the kids looking at them. The big surprise was that both boys absolutely adored the terapins and it was very sweet to see their looks of delight as the little turtles 'frolicked' under the false sun.
By far the best part however was the ray pond. The blue planet offers an opportunity to 'stroke' the rays. You strum the top of the water and the rays come up to the surface and present themselves for a stroke. I'm not sure whether it was the opportunity to play with water or the appearance of weird creatures but they were overjoyed when we dangled them over the edge.
It is quite a pricey outing but we made the most of it and choosing a mid week afternoon meant that it was practically empty so we could get up close and take our time. It is a great idea for a rainy or wintry afternoon and we'll definitely do it again.
A
p.s thanks for all the kind words re: the boys, it helps to remember that it really is normal even if it is unpleasant.
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